Incorrect Lupin III Quotes

OcarinaPen

It's the time to play the game
Pronouns
He/Him
Goemon: You know you can die from that, right?
Jigen: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.
Fujiko: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.
Lupin: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

*In a horror movie situation*
Fujiko: I've got no service in my phone here.
Lupin: Shoot, my battery just died.
Jigen: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.
Goemon: Guys, my phone is a book.

Fujiko, teaching Goemon to drive: Okay, you're driving and Jigen and Lupin walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Goemon: Oh, definitely Lupin. I could never hurt Jigen.
Fujiko, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

I generated these quotes with https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator and YOU can too!
 

YuStarDino

Anime Protagonist of Norn Iron
Pronouns
He/Him
Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Lupin, with Goemon and Jigen behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Lupin: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Lupin: Fujiko FUCKING FELL OFF!

Fujiko: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Goemon: Fucking Jigen and Lupin were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Fujiko, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Jigen, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Lupin, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Goemon, trembling: What are we playing?!
 

WateredWillow

some animator lady
Pronouns
She/Her
Lupin: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Jigen: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.
Jigen: Anyways, you said Lupin is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

Jigen: So what are your political beliefs?
Lupin, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

Jigen: I have a bad feeling about this...
Lupin: What do you mean?
Jigen: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Lupin: No?
Zenigata: That actually explains so much.

Jigen: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Zenigata: *raises hand*
Lupin: *puts their hand down*

God I'm so tempted to draw that last one
 

Tintalle

Obsessed with 4 thieves and their detective
Pronouns
she/her
Goemon: How is the most beautiful person in the world?
Jigen: *blushing* I—
Lupin, butting into the conversation: Zenigata is perfect, thanks for asking.

Lupin: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything Zenigata does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?
Goemon: If Zenigata were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Zenigata jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Jigen: You jump off a cliff!
Goemon: Gladly, provided Zenigata did first.

Jigen: ARE YOU-
Goemon: F***ing.
Jigen: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Goemon: F***ing.
Jigen: IDIOT!
Lupin: …What was that?
Goemon: Zenigata banned Jigen from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

Goemon: Truth or dare?
Zenigata: Dare.
Goemon: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
Zenigata: Hey Lupin?
Lupin, blushing: Yeah?
Zenigata: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Jigen.
 

OcarinaPen

It's the time to play the game
Pronouns
He/Him
Jigen: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?
Zenigata: Bees?
Jigen: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!
Zenigata: Wait-
*Lupin approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Goemon: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!
Lupin: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Jigen, go find out if that thing can catch fire!
Goemon: You're a bad influence.
Lupin: And you don't know your sayings.

Jigen: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
Lupin: Okay.
*later*
Zenigata: Lupin! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
Jigen, whispering: Deny everything.
Lupin, loudly: That isn't a chair.

I really wanna draw the first and last ones
 

OcarinaPen

It's the time to play the game
Pronouns
He/Him
Lupin: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Jigen: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.
Jigen: Anyways, you said Lupin is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

Jigen: So what are your political beliefs?
Lupin, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

Jigen: I have a bad feeling about this...
Lupin: What do you mean?
Jigen: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Lupin: No?
Zenigata: That actually explains so much.

Jigen: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Zenigata: *raises hand*
Lupin: *puts their hand down*

God I'm so tempted to draw that last one
I mean if you wanna draw that last one, go for it! Who's gonna stop you?
 
Pronouns
They/them
Gave the same stairs joke twice :kar_jigen:

Fujiko: *falls down the stairs*
Lupin: Are you okay?
Goemon: Stop falling down the stairs!
Jigen: How’d the ground taste?

Lupin: You're smiling. What happened?
Jigen: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?
Goemon: Fujiko tripped and fell down the stairs today.
 
Pronouns
They/them
Fujiko , rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!
Lupin: Fujiko , honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Jigen, would you get Fujiko some water?
Jigen: What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?

Zenigata: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?
Jigen: No.
Fujiko: No.
Zenigata: Didn't think so.

Fujiko: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?
Jigen: Bleach.
Zenigata: Sewage.
Fujiko: ...Please calm down, edgelords.
 
Pronouns
They/them
Gave the same stairs joke twice :kar_jigen:

Fujiko: *falls down the stairs*
Lupin: Are you okay?
Goemon: Stop falling down the stairs!
Jigen: How’d the ground taste?

Lupin: You're smiling. What happened?
Jigen: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?
Goemon: Fujiko tripped and fell down the stairs today.
Annnd ANOTHER ONE

Jigen: Some people are like slinkies.
Goemon: What?
Jigen: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Goemon:
Goemon: Please don't push Fujiko down the stairs.
Jigen, pushing Fujiko down the stairs: Too late.
 

Tintalle

Obsessed with 4 thieves and their detective
Pronouns
she/her
Zenigata: So, what's it like living with Lupin?
Jigen: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."
Zenigata: ...
Jigen: I love them so much.

Lupin: I told Zenigata that their ears turn red when they lie.
Jigen: Do they?
Lupin: No.
Jigen: Then why did you tell them that?
Lupin: Because I can do this.
Lupin: Hey Zenigata! Do you love us?
Zenigata, with their hands over their ears: No.

Jigen: What have you done with Lupin?
Zenigata: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
that one doesn't seem incorrect either XD

Lupin, trying to impress Zenigata: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.
Jigen: They turned it off and back on again.
 

YuStarDino

Anime Protagonist of Norn Iron
Pronouns
He/Him
Zenigata: What does “take out” mean?
Goemon: Food.
Lupin: Dating.
Jigen: Murder.
Fujiko: It can be all three if you’re brave enough
Zenigata: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Lupin and I are dating.
Lupin, Goemon, Fujiko, and Jigen: *gasp*
Zenigata: Lupin, why are you surprised?!

Lupin: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Fujiko: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Lupin: I said within reason, Fujiko. How about I murder that guy?
Fujiko: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Lupin: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
 

WateredWillow

some animator lady
Pronouns
She/Her
*Something crashes*
Lupin: Shoot-
Zenigata: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!
Jigen: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

Goemon: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?
Lupin: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

Goemon: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.
Lupin: ...Don’t you mean benevolence?
Goemon: No.

Lupin: Oh Jigen, we have a visitor!
Jigen: Don't tell me it's Fujiko.
Lupin: It's Fujiko

Lupin: *pulls back the curtain while Jigen is showering*
Lupin: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Lupin: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet.
Jigen: Why’d you get banned?
Lupin: Touched the rat.
Jigen: … What rat?
Lupin: Chunky Cheese.
 

WateredWillow

some animator lady
Pronouns
She/Her
Jigen: I’m telling you, my team is competent.
Lupin, rushing in: Jigen! Goemon tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Zenigata: Are you a cuddler?
Goemon: I'm a machine of death and destruction.
Zenigata:
Goemon:
...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

Lupin: Go big or go home!
Fujiko: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.
Lupin: I'm going big!!

Lupin, admiring a sleeping Zenigata: You’re so cute.
Zenigata, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Lupin, lovingly: I know.

Goemon: Who the fuck-
Lupin: Language!
Goemon: Whom the fuck-
Lupin: No.

Fujiko: Time-sensitive question how flirt boy.
Jigen: Throw rocks at he.
Lupin: Hot Dogs.
Goemon: Kill him.
Fujiko: Thanks guys.

Fujiko: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Goemon: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Jigen: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

Fujiko: You have friends and I envy that.
Lupin: You're welcome to share my friends.
Fujiko: *looks at Jigen and Zenigata*
Fujiko: I don't want those.

Jigen,
holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Lupin: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Lupin:
Lupin:
It's perfume, Jigen.
 
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