I would
NEVER pass up a chance to talk about my favorite middle aged men


they're my blorbos. I love them. This is absolutely not me projecting on them on some of these things, wdym. (This is honestly a bunch of incoherent and sometimes unrelated thoughts.) (ALSO THIS INCLUDES SOME VAGUE THINGS MAYBE MENTIONED OR IMPLIED IN LUPIN ZERO AND THE LATER PARTS. BE WARNED)
Jigen headcanons:
- He would like cuddling or just giving and receiving physical touch as a display of affection, but he has very strong touch aversion and people touching him sometimes physically repulses him. To him, it feels like the physical equivalent of nails down a chalkboard, or eating something soft like eggs and unexpectedly crunching down on a piece of eggshell.
- He uses he/it pronouns because he is so cool and awesome
- He can cook, and also really likes cooking. However, he will complain about having to cook because "nobody helps me around here. I do everything by myself. you all would be dead without me. i am UNAPPRECIATED." except Lupin can cook just fine but he hates it when people move things in the kitchen so he tells everyone not to touch anything and then complains. I think he just enjoys complaining tbh
- Forgets he has his hat on occasionally because he's never without it, so it doesn't register as "not a part of him". Gets in the shower with it on and turns the shower on before noticing.
- Saw this somewhere but I genuinely agree. "Comments the word "dislike" on every photo Fujiko posts"
- I am of the idea that since he grew up in a really terrible environment with not a lot of things available to him, he genuinely really takes care of things like his shirts and jackets and such. He 100% wears perfume and it is the expensive kind. I don't think he'd smell bad, honestly. Unfortunately he smokes multiple packs of cigarettes a day, so the only thing you can smell on him is cigarette smoke.
- He prefers dogs, but he likes most animals. Except maybe small dogs. He would seem like the kind of person to think that if a dog isn't the size of a horse then it's automatically terrible.
- He says he prefers being left alone, and maybe he would in theory, but then that would give him too much space and silence to start thinking about his life and the choices he made. So instead, he tries to keep himself busy in a room where either Goemon or Lupin are in.
- He likes the thrill of heists, but also genuinely wishes he could live a normal life. However, he wouldn't take the opportunity if it was presented to him because he views himself as "too far gone". "Plagued with constant regret and guilt" sort of situation. He's afraid that he would somehow harm or drag people he cares about down with him, so he doesn't really interact with any normal citizens. Plus, he wouldn't know what to do without Lupin for the rest of his life, and Lupin most definitely has never considered stopping, so he just resigned himself to being a criminal for the rest of his days.
- He hates seeing child / young pictures of himself. Matter of fact, I don't think he would enjoy having pictures of him taken in general, even as an adult.
- Out of the two, Jigen is 100% the one to make unholy food combinations. Lupin grew up extremely upperclass, and while not being snob about food as a whole, he has a very strict idea of what foods should not ever see each other, even from across a room. Lupin is genuinely disgusted at the combinations sometimes, bonus points if the combinations involved french food or recipes. Jigen would put great value mayonnaise on a croissant (probably to entertain himself with Lupin's reaction) and Lupin would die on the spot. Like garlic to a vampire.
Lupin headcanons:
- Takes 2 hours to take a shower every single time, not because he is doing anything important, he already finished washing off after 10 mins. Rather, it's because while he had shampoo in his hands he started making bubbles with it. Now half of the brand new bottle of shampoo is gone, the water is freezing, and he's trying to be a soapbender, avatar-style.
- Identifies as male but is fine with both he/him or they/them pronouns.
- He has an extremely high pain tolerance, it kind of freaks people out. Honestly, he was probably that kid in school who would tell you to look at how they did something incredibly painful or uncomfortable and didn't even flinch. Like those guys that twisted their nails behind the swings at recess, that would be him. He lived for the attention, even if it was mostly negative.
- Actually, he really thrived off any sort of attention at school, due to a very absent father and a kind of not-very-warm mother-figure maid. He totally used his access to copious amounts of money to buy people's affection, or just to show off to get a reaction out of people.
- While still being extremely wealthy now due to having had infinite amounts of successful heists where he stole money or very expensive things, he at least has a very realistic view of money and price. In his youth, he totally did not. Think like, "Wow, ten dollars for a small slice of watermelon? What a steal! I'll buy it."
- Lupin teases Jigen for being "ancient", a "fossil", "mummified", etc... Meanwhile Jigen is like literally only 3 months (and 4 days) older. (I go by the official Lupin Zero ages of them both being 13 at the time, but Jigen being older than Lupin, and if I remember correctly Jigen's birthday is supposed to be November 29th according to the Cagliostro book. Lupin's birthday is technically February 10th but I'm a March stan and think March is an elite month. Therefore it is the popular fan-birthday of March 3rd.)
- He speaks so many languages very fluently, and is very talented with words in general. He can speak a lot of various languages, and understand the basics without being able to speak in even more. French (due to, well, being french) and Japanese (due to being raised there for over a decade) are his first languages.
- Instead of having a main account on his social medias where it's mostly SFW and then a personal account where it's NSFW, Lupin has a main account where he posts the raunchiest, most sinful, down-atrocious things. He does have a personal private account, but it's where he posts about being sad and depressed.
LupJig Headcanons:
- Lupin is the big spoon. I don't have a reason for this claim, but I feel it in my heart that it is true.
- Lupin doesn't like to sit still and do absolutely nothing when he's reading or watching something or even just thinking, he always prefers to be doing something with his hands, so he'll just mess with Jigen's hair. He will not leave Jigen's hair alone, wether he's brushing it, braiding it, detangling it with his fingers, or just playing with it.
- Lupin is very eloquent, actually. He acts childish a lot of the time, but he's very good at articulating his thoughts and feelings. He'd be the type of person to be able to write a very detailed and romantic 17 paragraph text on why he loves Jigen. And he means it all, too.
- Jigen on the other hand, struggles extremely bad with trying to express his thoughts and emotions, not just verbally, but even as thoughts to himself. His responses to those 17 paragraph romantic texts Lupin would send would probably be "I love u too". A question that would sometimes come up is "What do you like about Lupin?" and he'd just freeze because he wouldn't know what to say at all and his mind would go blank. He'd feel really bad afterwards too, because if you asked the same question to Lupin, he'd be able to have a 30 minute uninterrupted monologue before someone shut him up. It's not that he doesn't love him though, he absolutely does. He just is way better at expressing his love through doing things, rather than using his words.
- Speaking of, Jigen thinks baking is stupid but would spend weeks researching and getting equipment and ingredients to make whatever pastry or dessert Lupin decided he's in the mood for, as well as spending hours actually making it.
I have so many more but I don't want to crowd the thread I'm sure this is already super long


I got carried away, my bad